Bryntin was aware that he has not posted anything new for blinking ages. He was also aware that, post his existential angst and the discovery of his Bear R Humphreys alter ego, his brain, which was only a slightly obtuse concept at the best of times, was generally nowhere to be found.
Bryntin thought it would probably be best to signal to anybody reading and actually enjoying his increasingly random and bizarre blog that there was a possibility he couldn’t actually be arsed to write anything new on it at the moment and he had no idea when he would because it wasn’t one of those times when even his obtuse concept of a brain was present.
Bryntin thought that ‘obtuse concepts’ was a good phrase but probably best not to overuse it. More than three times in a post was possibly an obtuse concept too far.
He thought perhaps he should have a bit of a refreshment break and would return to writing afterwards, probably with the same ideas he had before but perhaps with some new words skilfully added to hide it.
He thought he would quite like to find a way of getting ‘obtuse concept’ into a post one day, although he would obviously not overuse it like some idiots do.
Anyway, he thought he’d go on a walking holiday by the sea for some fresh air. Fresh sea air always helps. Beer always seemed to help as well, so he’d probably have some of that too.
He couldn’t care less what Bear R Humphreys was up to but he was willing to bet it wasn’t just going for walks at the drop of a hat like he could, although he was certain that being the right way up meant that Bear didn’t drop his hat as often as Bryntin did.
Bryntin thought he’d be back at some stage, perhaps as early as next week if it rained a lot, but he didn’t want to put a certain time on it.
That felt as random, as chaotic and as obtuse as normal, so he was happy.
Bryntin was feeling magnanimous
More accurately, he had decided that he couldn’t sit on the secrets to successful blogging that he had already learned and keep them to himself any more and was going to generously share them freely with his followers, whether they liked it or not.
Bryntin knew that his readers would be intrigued by this news and felt that it needed more answers, so he called his Private Investigator Barrington Higginbottom to see if he’d get to the um… bottom of the inevitable questions it would provoke.
I know what you’re thinking already, you’re thinking this won’t end well, aren’t you?
Well, it doesn’t even start well so you’re probably right.
Bryntin was feeling preposterous.
More accurately, he was musing on the meaning of his latest blog piece, which he was sure his readers would probably end up thinking was preposterous as usual so he thought he’d save them some time and float the idea at the start.
Bryntin was a little discombobulated.
In reality he thought that he was just a little confused or mixed up but he decided that a chance to use the word discombobulate shouldn’t be missed.
Bryntin was being observant. More accurately, he had observed some stuff and was now desperately trying to distil that stuff into an opening for a blog post.
He had noticed that, while surfing around the Webs, Twits and Blogs, that many blog posts, and sometimes whole sites, were about self-help.
Daily Post: Wonder (and others)
Bryntin gets a lot of letters (no he doesn’t… no one really gets a lot of letters these days. If a blog piece starts with ‘I get a lot of letters about…’ it’s a good sign that the writer has no real imagination and didn’t know how else to start his post) asking him about the good old days when he used to try to make a poem out of a weeks worth of the WordPress Daily Post One Word Prompts.
Bryntin has long fancied posting a FAQ, or Frequently Asked Questions page and has been waiting patiently for some questions to be asked. Generally the only one he really gets frequently is “What are you doing now?” and comes from Mrs Bryntin.